The Student Affairs graduate students got together for a panel-like session for Clemson University Grad Assistant Recruitment & Selection weekend (CUGARS) candidates. We are here to answer any and all questions that the candidates (YOU!) might have about grad school, Clemson University Graduate Assistantship Recruitment & Selection weekend, and our lives here at CU.

We will be streaming a youtube video LIVE for you all to watch, listen and PARTICIPATE in the panel!

It’s simple to join. Click the YouTube link, click on the live video showing in the feed labeled “CUGARS GradChat”, watch the video live and participate in discussion on Twitter with the Hashtag #CUGradChat; tag @CU_GARS13 and on the CU GARS 2013 Facebook Group wall.

We will be taking questions you tweet us with the hashtag and post on our fb wall for the current grads to answer. So tune into CUGARS GradChat at 8:00pm EST on Tuesday, February 26th.

Are you busy at that time? No worries! You can watch the YouTube video later when you have a chance. Just be sure to be there if you can, so that you can get your questions answered!

Hope to CU Soon!
-CUGARS Committee

At the risk of sounding too dramatic and us looking like the person in Munch’s painting, I wanted to drop a note for my fellow Student Affairs grads looking for a professional job and/or internship this year.

1. Be consistent!
You’ve gotten through a year and a half with your cohort and friends in other Student Affairs graduate programs. Why all of a sudden change the game? Use them as support and be their support system, just like it has been the last year and a half. You’ll be very thankful to have that support that can relate to what you’re going through and understand the different levels and functional areas in student affairs. Just don’t forget to listen to everyone that has listened to you throughout the process. Keep the weight balanced of seeking advice/a shoulder to lean on and giving your couch/favorite series on Netflix up for a night to listen to a friend.

2. Play nice!
If you find a job description on HigherEdJobs.com that is reasonably something that you know a para colleague of yours would look into, send it to them!  This doesn’t create competition, this creates an opportunity for us all to get the job of our dreams. Keeping positions a secret won’t help anyone. Retweet posts that you see on Twitter and Share posts that you see on Facebook that are calling for positions. Who knows! Maybe a friend of a friend is looking for that exact combination in a job.

3. It’s a small world after all.
Remember that Student Affairs is a really small world. If you get invited to an on campus interview and didn’t enjoy your experience, don’t spread the news to everyone you know. It is very likely that it would come back to bite you. Like our mentors, parents, friends, colleagues, uncles and faculty have told us, “It’s all about fit. ” What may not fit for you, may actually fit for the other suits sitting across from you at TPE or C3.

4. Keep an open mind.
Keep an open mind on several levels. Keep communicating openly with your faculty and mentors about the positions you apply to and are looking for. Most likely, they will keep you grounded and help you stay realistic during the search process. I personally like to talk to people who will tell me the truth when I need it, as opposed to the infamous ‘reach for the stars’ speech we all know by heart. Communicate your goals to trustworthy people within the field. Like I said, the SA world is small and that can only help you.

5. Change is good.
Remember that what you’re looking for can change throughout your search process. I’m not talking about your list of non-negotiables. The more research we do and the more positions we peruse on the TPE job search website, our vision might change of what kind of institution/position/functional area for which we are looking. and that is perfectly okay. Changing your mind with more context in the middle of the game is alright. We’re human beings, not robots. We can conceptualize with the best of them, and we process like champs. This means that we just might change what we are looking for. Change is difficult and even uncomfortable at times, so lean into that discomfort and uneasiness. It might be the risk that will land you your first big opportunity in this field.

6. Have faith.
Have faith in yourself. Take that huge leap and know that your background, your individual makeup of a professional, is what will help your feet find the ground. Have faith in your education and experiences. Everything you have done up to this moment has prepared you for this search. Breathe.

7. Enjoy it.
Yes, I mean actually enjoy it! You most likely won’t be searching again anytime soon. Learn from your mistakes and soak up your triumphs. We’re going to have to remember everything we go through this year for other searches on down the road.

Good luck to everyone on their search this season, and if there are any employers out there reading this… Go easy on us

To sum a few things up: the 15^th amendment was passed in 1869 to let black men have the right to vote. The 19^th amendment was passed in 1919 to let women have the right to vote. There was 50 years difference with having the same social issues but different identities rights’ identified.

The fact that women’s voting rights were accepted by Congress 50 years after black men’s voting rights parallels the past eight years. For example, Hilary (Republican) vs. Obama (Democrat) in 2008 and now Romney (Republican) vs. Obama (Democrat) in 2012 shows a social hierarchy plain as day. America picked the black man over the white female in 2008, but most Americans, around South Carolina and the entire country, are going to pick the white man over the black man. America is still clearly putting society into classes in terms of preferences for a position of power for the country: (1) white males, (2) black males, (3) white females, (4) black females, and (5) anyone else that might get a chance to obtain a position of power.

Most do not see this as social classism and blame these historical references on happenstance and other issues brought to light by the media. Why does our society keep letting this happen, but shield their eyes when they are called upon for a really important decision in our country’s leadership?

We are halfway through the semester in higher education. We are all strung out and exhausted because of the continual work that we put in to begin the semester and know that we still have the rest of the semester to work. Because of this, even the nicest and most poised person will have some negative slip-ups every-so-often.

I would like to challenge you in reflecting on these moments that we were negative and ask ourselves (1) why were we so negative, is it really that negative of an experience? (2) what were the affects of my mood on others around me (3) how am I able to change that for later?

I think that unintentional bullying happens in our work place especially as student affairs professionals. We must hold our tongues sometimes to go by office politics, we engage in office gossip to break up some monotony of the day, and we sometimes even gang up on ideas and new policies we don’t particularly enjoy. Some of these activities and attitudes are just habits. Habits that we don’t necessarily see as hurting anyone.

The cycle of socialization is an easier way to describe this behavior. The cycle is that we start in a society where we learn all these new biases, like wearing the right jeans to elementary school so we don’t get made fun of or that boys are not supposed to take barbies to school for show-and-tell. Later on in life, once we learn that we have a choice in our society: whether to perpetuate the cycle or break free and strive to make a change in the systematic approach to social issues.

Cycle of Socialization

I realize that the cycle of socialization is for social justice stories, but I am an individualizer and believe in the story of the individual. I have seen/heard stories of  individuals in different departments getting bullied out of their department or even student affairs as a whole. Isn’t this ironic? The same thing we preach to our students everyday to be inclusive and celebrate differences, we have used to isolate colleagues so much to that their quality of life will only get better if they leave said environment.

Now, my disclaimer is that I do not believe that every student affairs department has this issue in the undertones of office relationships in this extreme way, but I am sure we all have unknowingly contributed negatively to someone’s quality of life. If we all focused on one negative aspect of our life everyday for 30 weeks out of the year, imagine the impact we could make by focusing on one positive aspect of someone else that is different than us or sees the world from a different point-of-view.

(1) Do not decline invitations to do cool stuff– No exceptions

(2) See a performance somewhere in Italy (Dance or Opera)

(3) Learn as much as I possibly can about Italian culture, AUR culture, and the culture of Student Services at AUR

I succeeded at Goal #2 by going to see Giselle (the ballet) at the Baths of the Caracalla outside theatre.

If you’d like to know the whole story of Giselle, then visit here.

This link shows pictures of a performance with the same type of costumes and choreography with some of the background information. (I was not allowed to take pictures during the performance–even though people did anyways.)

If you would like a Colleens-Cliffs Notes version, listen here:

There’s this prince that dresses down to be a commoner, because he finds this beautiful dancing lady. They pretty much fall in love while dancing together. There are a few problems with this dancing magic, though. (1) The lady (Giselle) is already betrothed to this respectable village guy her own status. (2) Giselle does not know that her new love is a prince. And (3) the prince is actually about to marry another princess.

Once Giselle finds out about the princess and the prince’s real identity, thanks to mister respectable village man, she basically dances herself insane/to death. (It depends which version you read/watch.) She goes a little batty and ends up taking the prince’s sword to her own body.

The second act is all about Giselle in her Wili (dancing ghost) self. The legend of the Wilis is that they come out in the forest at night to dance, and if any unmarried male is in the forest between dusk and dawn, the Queen of the Wilis will use her powers to make the Wilis dance the guy to death.

So of course Giselle was buried in this forest. Both prospective guys (the prince and mister respectable) come to visit the grave close to dusk- not a great idea. The respectable village guy gets caught pretty quickly, and he basically had no chance of keeping up with those Wilis with how fast and beautiful they dance. Mr. Respectable dies from exhaustion. While that is happening Giselle is dancing for fun with her Prince lover. It’s cute. Then the Queen of the Wilis finds them and uses her power to make Giselle dance with him until exhaustion. He falls a couple of times; it’s really dramatic. But surprisingly he stays alive just until dawn arrives. Lucky prince.

I left a lot of details out, but you get the gist. Anyways, the performance at Terme di Caracalla was absolutely beautiful with the scenery and the stage (you can see below.) The Giselle performance fed my soul and made me want to start dancing again. So afterwards I rounded up my closest Clemson friends that I knew danced, and we have a plan to rent a studio once a week to just do our thing. Needless to say, I’m very psyched! I will dust off my old pointe shoes, teach a few tricks, learn a little hip hop, and find my personal balance again.  Salute!

I definitely recommend any show in Roma, Italia. You will not be disappointed.

Terme di Caracalla Stage for Giselle

My mom is a 14 year survivor of Breast Cancer. I was 9 years old when I learned about cancer and the effects on a family going through chemo therapy and struggling through doctor’s visits to make sure the cancer has reacted correctly to the treatments. My brother was 15 years old. He acted as an extra set of hands, and became a responsible lasagna eating brother/3rd parent.

I remember making my mom breakfast and lunch, going with her to get her chemo, and making certain changes in order to keep her as comfortable as possible in the house. What does it feel like to support that parent that has done everything for you? At the time, I was 9 and could not comprehend all the changes my family endured and the fighter that was inside my mom’s heart. All I knew was that my mom was in an even riskier place to have her life ended, because of this disease that you could not see, feel, or touch.

Because of watching my mom fight this monster, I have seen how absolutely strong she is as a person, as a patient, as a nurse, as a mother, as a wife… as a fighter. This is where I get my motivation to be a strong woman today. She is my light, my guidance, and my best friend. My mom and grandma are the two strongest women I know, and I cannot wait to be as feisty, stubborn, and beautiful as they are today.

Like I said, my mom and I have found the South Carolina Mountains to Midlands Race for the Cure to participate in September. For the first time ever, I have started a team for those that are in the area and would like to join. I am very excited to share these experiences with other survivors and truly be in the presence of the strongest people (Men can get breast cancer too!) on this earth.

I am also collecting donations on my page for the Race. 75% of the money raised will stay in the local area of South Carolina. I am always very proud of seeing Race Day and how many people come to support their loved ones in honor and in memory of those who are no longer with us. Below I have linked my pages for you to take a gander and decide if you would like to join us in Greenville, SC or are able to share a few dollars.

Colleen’s Personal Page

Clemson Student Affairs and Friends Komen Race for the Cure® Team Page

Fundraising Tips for those that would like to join in the Fundraising

You all were able to put in your two cents worth with the recent poll I posted. Out of some awesome topics, embarrassing travel stories rose to the top. Living in Rome for the past five weeks, I have been able to experience the culture of food, efficiency, traffic, protests, travel, conversation, and heat. Yes, heat! Italy, specifically Rome, is getting hit pretty hard with a heat storm from Africa. Hopefully this 100 degree weather will only last one week and get back to a more modest 85 degrees. I have found quickly through meetings in my internship with multiple nationalities, that communication is very difficult. Speaking through everyone’s 1st or 2nd language will not always get the deep and efficient conversation you might when everyone resides in Clemson, SC. On the weekends I have been taking day trips to Orvieto, Ostia Antica, Perugia, and will soon leave for a three day trip to Pisa, Florence, and Tuscany. I have traveled mostly by bus and train, so it has been interesting getting to know the train system. Thankfully I will be gone Friday, because I hear that there will be a public transportation protest on Friday. Not many people will be able to get around, if that is the case! I cannot wait to try the wine in Tuscany and enjoy as many of the cuisines I am able to eat.

Now onto the topic of your choosing: Embarrassing Stories.

Story #1: The first week I arrived, I was frantic because of all the changes, not being able to speak Italian, but still having a lot to cross off on my to-do list. This list included everything that I told myself that I should not have packed because I could buy that product here, in Italy. (A packing technique I have mastered to not go over the weight limit for flying.) This list included a towel, shampoo, conditioner, soap, laundry detergent, tupperware for lunches, food, a SIM card, etc… If you know me at all, you know that I can barely go 20 minutes with out my phone, so the SIM card was a priority. Not only for my compulsion to have technology around, but for others to be able to get a hold of me so that I can get to know people. No one would call me or even touch my phone unless I had an Italian number.

So on my way back from AUR one afternoon, I found an electronic store.  I saw the cell phones, stereos, cameras, and printers all in the windows, so I decided to try it out. As soon as I walked in, I asked if they spoke English and was denied. The store manager motioned me to come in further, as if he could still help me and I let him know that I could not understand Italian. This did not deter the nice owner, so I took my phone out and pointed to the back and said quite sheepishly, “SIM card?” (I had no idea by this point how to say, ‘do you have’ or ‘where can I get’). He said, “Si! Si!….. more Italian I couldn’t understand.” So we battle it out with the few words of English the store owner knew with the few words of Italian that I knew. Not really battle, more of a frustrated foreign word exchange. Anyways, while I am waiting for him to process my information, because you have to have your passport, the address you are staying at and all the information according to the SIM card you are receiving he tries to start having a conversation with me. There are two men having a conversation, trying to be patient with the girl from America that does not speak Italian, they ask why I came to Italy if I could not speak Italian. All I could say in Italian was, “Bella Italia.” They thankfully took that answer and turned it around to me. (So remember how this was one of my first few days here, I am so embarrassed and cannot stand looking like a tourist, I was blushing pretty bad already.)  The two men say, “Bella Rosa,” and pointed to my hair. I didn’t feel threatened and added on, “Molto bella.” They got a great kick out of it. Meanwhile, I’m thinking, “I’m out of vocabulary words! What do I do?” The poor store owner was fighting with the computer, so it’s taking longer to process my data. So he says, “No more bello roso for me,” while pointing at his semi bald/red head. The other man laughed and I smiled like to say, “Oh dear,” waited in silence for the rest of my time there, and left to go ask my American friends how I actually use the SIM card.

Story #2: I tried to make a joke, and we all know my jokes are funny. So, I was working for AUR picking up the students from the airport and riding in a van with them back to their residences. On the way there I had to give the study abroad students the quick orientation during the 30-45 minute ride. By this story, I had been to Italy for about a week. The driver, did not speak any English at all. I barely knew 10 words of Italian. We managed to have a conversation about us not being able to understand one another and wondering why we were put together as a pair. So, we hit Rome at the busy part of the day (which is basically all parts of the day), and i try to make small talk and learn a few words. I asked the driver in Italian, “what do you call…” and pointed to all the traffic, made a few hand gestures of driving, and verbally demonstrated ‘honk honk’.  After all that, he said, “Traffico.” Nice. So I sat in silence for a bit again. Then thought it would be funny to say, “Traffico no rapido!” No. The driver ignored me. I stopped talking and said thank you for the ride with a smile after he dropped us off, and that was that! (You know he was laughing on the inside though.)

Anyways, I will have to shorten my posts. I have so much to tell you all, and I have waited so long to post anything. Maybe you’ll get two posts this week? Who knows! As always, if you would like to check my pictures out, please go to Week 3 and Week 4.

I think I’m acclimating to this culture quite nicely

Porta Portese Market
(Every Sunday morning I step outside my apartment and I see this.)

Spending my first week and a half in Italy was quite the culture shock, an amazing awakening, like a dream and everything in between. From the moment I stepped out of the airport, I did not fully understand the culture; my senses were heightened to all sounds, smells and sights. The first couple of days traveling to work, I would jump out of my skin if I heard a bus pull its break. I did not realize what was going on with me and why I was so scared of a new place. Was it that I have only lived in rural environments my whole life? Was it that I did not understand a word most people were saying to me? Traveling from Clemson, SC to Roma, Italia is a huge switch.

Since my first few days in Rome, I have made a few friends, introduced myself to public transportation, learned some very helpful phrases, consumed some delightful treats and learned a lot about the American University of Rome (AUR). My internship is splitting my time between enrollment services and the student life department of AUR. Since we just had around 300 students arrive last week, I got to help with pick ups from the airport, orientation, and normal day to day tasks like answer the bajillion questions a student abroad student can have in Italy.

Being around the Student Life department helps me make those relationships with the students by helping the ResGrads (the equivalent of a Resident Director) take students to go on trips. I am also auditing an Italian culture and language class that the AUR Provost is teaching. It is interesting to see the amount of focus students have in their actual classes in the summer and in another country. Nonetheless, it is a great opportunity to experience the academic affairs part of the university.

While in Rome, I have met quite a few people that all have elaborate stories of why they chose Rome and what the hook, line, and sinker is to make them want to stay in Rome. Interestingly enough, most of the reasons people decided to stay in Italy had to do with love. Love for the city, love for a significant other, love for the culture, etc.

I was pretty shocked when I closed the recent poll asking what my next topic should be about, and the topic of love stood out above the rest. For those of you who know me, you know that a relationship is not a high priority right now and has not been for the past 2 years. Without further alluding to my nonexistent love life, I’ve noticed that love is the center of most people’s lives here in Italy. They live with their entire family, they spend time walking the streets with their mothers, fathers, grandmothers, and grandfathers, the PDA isn’t as subtle and conservative as in the states and gender roles are much more defined in the majority but in a different way than America.

I was warned by a fellow blonde that the Italian boys would be all over the blonde American girls because we looked exotic and different than what they see every day. Before I left the States, I dyed my hair red. Little did I know, red-headed ladies in Italy are even less abundant than blondes. This has made for some interesting stares, calls, and a different life than if I had stayed in the States with my Ariel-like hair.

You know how if you find someone attractive, you enjoy looking in their general direction until they catch you? You do this little dance with your eyes to know if he is looking at you and even though you were looking at him, you don’t want him to know you were. This little shy act is completely bypassed in Italy and the male supersedes the role of the eye catcher. In Italian culture, the man is paying the woman a compliment by staring. There is no shame in looking at something that they enjoy and making sure the woman knows that they enjoy what they are looking at.

As some residents of Italy explained to me, the guys that play this act on you in the streets, bars or random places out of the blue are not the ones that create that pure Italian love that everyone gets in a tizzy about. The way you meet the Italian guys that would be able to fill that role is by friends of friends, just like the US. Interesting how it all comes full circle.

More updates to come later. If you would like to see the first set of pictures, follow this link: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10101544192882018.3134377.13755373&type=3&l=c9de557d62

Student Life Blog Post for the American University of Rome written to help study abroad students with diet restrictions to find Italian cuisine.